i feel guilty for kissing another guy

In the end you're the one who knows your boyfriend and whether he would like to know about something like that or not. Social media, the Internet, texting and so on. However, the fact that you kissed another guy can act as a trigger for him to think negatively of you. This is the decission you need to make do you want to risk all (career, home, kids as well as your DH) and be in a position you can pursue a relationship with this married man - who may well reject you for more than a fling. Well you need to figure that out and fast. Where were you hiding it - up your sleeve? You lied to me for 2 years? Kissed another man four years ago and NOW feeling guilty. Feeling guilt when dumping the guy : r/datingoverthirty Confesing to your husband was risky. Yes it hurts.. 07/12/2015 22:05. Please tell me I will stop feeling like this. drunk, kissing. We may share information about your use of our site with trusted advertising and analytics partners. , By entering this site you declare If you kissed someone while you were drunk then perhaps you are worried about doing it again. I kissed my husbands best friend while we were drunk, well no, he kissed me My boyfriend was drunk and let his friend sleep between us. Then he kissed me, and I kissed him back. Years after my divorce the one thing that still makes me really angry is that my XH should have ended the marriage as thats what he wanted. I didnt tell him. I'll inform the vicar, you cancel the cake, yeh? What would people say if she'd slept with someone else? Live with the soul crushing guilt you earned, or lose your BF. I had three Will the guilt ever go away? (As you were), It happened to me,too last Jan.31,2016, and it happened again in the following days. And Ill tell you why by first giving you some context the back. WORK. View related questions: I had text my husband so he knew where I was and that was ok. Things do get out of our hand at times, now think. Just my opinion. After he gave me a drink we started kissing and I felt terrible.He then asked me to sleep with him. he set the standard of how he wished this relationship to be conducted in such scenarios yet you failed to follow it WHY did you?). Hi Scope! reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2005): Already have an account? SA you have got it- it is more the "what's behind it" than what happened. You cheated. That's what it takes to have a Grade A romance that never dies. Personally, I think even innocently returning a kiss is cheating, although Id probably keep it to myself! DON'T: Kiss and tell to someone you're kissing. I kissed another man four years ago. By clicking 'Accept and continue' you consent to our use of cookies in accordance with your preferences which can be reviewed / updated at any time via our Privacy Policy. (works every time :-p) And Brodie groped James. I really have a problem believing but forgave her and weve been together another 20 yrs now and have 15 grand children hasnt ever really bothered me but about 3 yrs ago it hit me like of bolt of lightning out of nowhere and I cant get that night out of my mind, keep obsessing over what they might have done and how they spent the 4 or 5 hours that they were together outside the venue that night. When you feel guilty for hurting someone you love, holding in those feelings makes it worse. I wanted to go further with him, but I didnt nor did he push for anything more. Cell phones, texting, emails etc. The drunk part won't matter to him because his mind will only think about the kiss. Past is something you cannot change. Guilt is a common feeling of emotional distress that signals us when our actions or inactions have caused or might cause harm to another personphysical, emotional, or otherwise. Whoever did it, doesnt matter. I speak from experience when I say that when that intimacy starts to die, it can be the start of the end. (I bet many would not kiss & TELL -as it would only invite chaos in their marraiges). Spoiler alert: Not that different from kissing a girl, only they dont fancy them. It meant absolutely nothing what so ever but to me, I still class kissing someone else, no matter how long or short time, drunk or not, as cheating! Nah Don't say a word about it. I was surprised by his reaction, but I shook my head and said it was nothing like that. And then continued behaving like friends as if the mere certificate would do the work and promotion parts for you (or, alternatively, continued accepting the fact that ONE friend couldn't quite dare up his friendship ante to where you felt sated in the affection and attention worthy of marriage department) You even said it indirectly in your story, when said you decided to get drunk. I see this as two issues. I'm really surprised that everyone is saying "It's just a kiss" and to not tell the SO. instead of: Period. A guy bought me drinks and he asked me if I wanted to ride his motorcycle to another bar and I did. If this is bothering you, then tell him. You have been dating this guy for only two months and it's not serious yet. Changing jobs or departments and without delay, those things that aren't rocket science, is definitely what I as a fractionally betrayed partner would call you putting your rueful money where your rueful mouth is - enough to help reassure permanently. Your significant other might get very angry about this, but I believe it depends more on whom you kissed rather than on the fact that you kissed someone else. (Ta-daaaa!) But please seperate the issues. (although, I'm not sure how this counts as a debate if you and I are in total agreement, lol). Sentiment accepted, though. I'm disgusted with myself to think I would do that after just the tiniest bit of attention and flattery. I came home and we resolved it and ever since everything has been fine. If I ws on ur place I would never have told him because he loves me so much and respect me so much and really trust me like anything and if you are guilty and try to relieve ur guilt by telling him still doesn't prove to be beneficial for you and other than that it creates a doubt in his heart that would be very mych lowering The respect he has in his heart for you. I just knew it. One of the best ways is to offer effective apologies. So if for some reason he'd got funny about it, I'd have just dealt with it. (PS: These 'recent issues' of yours. What isn't, is It's one of those cases where keeping it a secret would be worse than the transgression itself, especially since it'd be a case of 'the pot calling the kettle black'. But I'll let you off because that was a MacResponse whereas 'a lot to take in', i.e. I am 100% sure he will forgive you and will love you even more for telling him (which you should have done A LONG TIME AGO). Hubby had a similar experience when we were in our first year - with his ex. I read or heard somewhere that the only good thing that comes of guilt is to prevent you from doing it again. Before you close I'd like to say that I totally agree with you. Lol female A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2006): Hey sweetie my Name is Jilian I have a boyfriend as well and we have been dating for 3 months, I have had past relationships that have gone on for 11 months, I have cheated on my past boyfriend andi felt so terrible andi was in the same situation as you are, sweetie i know how you feel. Saying that, however, I note you wrote: He said I was a person and offered to ride me home. It how you deal with it that makes the difference. Lets get down to the basics here. Do you want to end you marriage? Kissing that that guy confirmed it. Talk About Family, Marriage and Relationships, My magic wand would remove shame from sexuality for all! Biological ones. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I feel so bad since then. I didnt want to cheat on him and I made up my mind it wouldnt happen again. Do you? Oh no worries soulmate, yes we do miss you We'll talk tomorrow. I think they all count as cheating and I'm not sure it's necessary to make a distinction. Guess what his response was? :(. Being drunk is never a "reason" for cheating. By having a relationship with someone else and then just disappearing off it made things so much more complex for me, him and particularly the DC. Would they be as lenient? Forget about it! Good luck. (No, I'm very passionate about fidelity.) I agree. What you *can* have is the Biggest B*lls on the Block award. i agree with everyone there's some really good sharing here. Shes Colombian and very fiery. I think a real man actually kisses a dude at least once to really know your sexuality, one says. Me, I can't believe committing adultery isn't an actual crime yet. There was a lot of biting and groping going on, because, you know, the guys were giving it their best shot. If you think that straight guys are too macho to experiment with same-sex kissing, then yourewrong. (Sorry you got cheated on. I've been cheated on just recently and I cannot imagine how awful it would be if he didn't own up and tell me. Try to channel the guilt into something good, into turning your back on temptation and having a good night out with your friends. Amazing how long this subject has carried on. I couldnt take it so I told him. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. Secrets have no place in a marriage. ;-)). I was the driver so I did not drink at all just the wto girls. Don't hurt him any more than you already have. This thread has expired - why not start your own? I kissed another Man, please help. - Netmums For your information, I have only the *one* bottom and and it doesn't ever tend to leave tracks (- speak for yerself!) I'm taking it day by day. ;-). As I left, the boy who I kissed came with me and I tried my best to shrug him off. I just knew you would cheat on me if given half a chance.. "Soz". Needing to hear this guy tell you it was OK- It was not OK. Just trying to keep the pot stirred,the fire burning. It's mos becoming serious and we really like each other! Oh there really isn't any disagreement actually. I am deeply shocked this has happened and I don't know who to turn to for help. Soulmate I guess as long as you stay at this site I'll find all of you. Thus it's what I *DID DO* - back in September when at an Indian restaurant with friends (I mentioned it on this forum as apropos to someone's thread) and some bloke tried to come onto me. Since he felt there was an attraction with you two. Here's what it's like for straight guys to kiss other guys - Metro My wife left me because I had become emotionally unavailable. I gave up playing tennis with him. I'm going to be the best wife I can be going forward. SO if you shouldn't, then A) you should be able to tell him, and B) if he's the type to hit the roof over a kiss, he's a wee bit paranoid for his own good, and it wouldn't be *your* fault. You can even introduce is as you 'having something to tell him that you're very proud of yourself over and wholly expect will make him proud of you too'..such as: What should I do. I'll see you over there. I am not someone that cheats on people, I am just a nice lad who gets carried away in the moment when drunk. I'll still cross over with him at times, but it will be minimal. You can't fake that . I am giving him space to think. You mentioned foreplay as being the main gate. I am the nicest person on earth and so is my boyfriend. He Have Lipstick Stain Or Make Up Stain On His Face It's an obvious sign that someone kissed him. And it's weird, but it's like I need the guy to tell me what I did was ok and I'm not a bad person. In essence . Houston? A couple of nights ago I went out to a work function. Translation: Stuff moral taboos, my wanton self-gratification urge is more important than any implement for world peacebut I'm a nice guy, no, really I am.) Once my tennis coach misread me, came into my house, and gave a peck on my cheeks, in India, kissing is not a social gesture. Thankfully, he immediately and apologetically backed right off (which was when we woke this other woman and they both left), and, luckily, put his apologetic money where his mouth was by phoning me the very next day to say how stupid and guilt-wracked he felt, assuring me it would NEVER happen again so could I please forgive him and just forget it ever happened. It's not just a guy thing anymore,women are in it too. Even despite it included you having to become whatever degree of a low-down doity adulterer. Bringing this up is only going to hurt your SO. She emailed him out of the Blue, and he proudly showed me both her smarmy email and his polite yet nonetheless "on yer bike!" Visit my website and follow me on Twitter @GuyWinch. My piano teacher didnt behave like his normal, reserved self and he made suggestive comments to me. Lead to or gateway to, I guess there's a difference. If the reaction is strong, then maybe dont say anything. SOULMATE: I accept the ASSuming Award. To be honest, my stomach is sick with the thoughts of the whole thing. If you want to know the why's, you're going to have to be willing to hear the darkest part of what makes me, ME. ;-) (Awlthough, dang naace trah, they-yer, at tryin-a git' me ter disclows mah gendah. Team spirit is this: Now then,you and hubby should do some summer travel. The last person you should be talking to about your feelings of guilt is your partner. Your Drinking Behaviour. Because telling him something that you regret and will never do again is doing exactly that. Is Kissing Someone When Drunk Cheating? | Relationship Talk I mean if a person can't rely on their own strength of character and self-discipline to stop them from crossing that line, they obviously NEED an outside deterrent. I dont know which country u belong from but where i live I don't think men here like us to talk to strangers , men are our protectors and the bread earners, men on the whole are possessive of their females all around the world specially in case like yours if you have been too much loyal to each other,however if we assumed both of u to be flirt or too outgoing-means in case of slping wid ppl etc then u could share an event like a normal secretbut remember this is not merely a secret its equal to CONFESSING A CRIME/yes disloyality is a crime another man can not touch u after u r marryd to sombdy-if i take myself into account i can never allow any guy to touch me its only my hubbys right to see and love me even he says my loyalty is his most precious asset:) so if u do confess then he forgives or not for ur crime is his decision- I would recommend you should avoid telling him n you should change your job or timings as soon as possible because he that boy may try to exploit the situation tell your hubby though it has little chance but still you should be careful. And I have never cheated myself. I tried to flag down a taxi but it ignored me and I even hid behind a wall at a garage while he took a pee. My eyes were closed and my head was spinning. in my opinion I don't see why you would feel guilty you did nothing . (SK: no, it's just one of those places that's never appealed, holiday-wise, no doubt exacerbated by the fact I don't like long-haul flights for how they literally do my head in (think it's the aircon gas plus oxygen deprivation (don't get me started)) often lasting for a whole week afterwards, which isn't exactly what I call having a nice time.) I didnt blame the alcohol because I knew I had feelings for my piano teacher, and I didnt want to pretend the feelings didnt exist. he said if i started making out with another girl, hed be into it, but if i started getting carried away and disappearing with Tico Franklin, now 40, faced the death . A guilty kiss involves kissing a specific person while drunk who either has a crush on you or whom you have a crush on, and then using your drunken state as an excuse for having kissed that person. If you want a relationship then be ready to be trustworthy. I myself will have to comment tomorrow, now, although maybe SK and anyone else would like to join in in the meantime? I practise what I preach, me. One way to get over the guilt would be to prove to yourself that it will never happen again. And I know himhad it made him feel the slightest bit threatened and worried, either he'd have said so there and then, or, if for some reason hadn't felt capable, would have shown in his behaviour at some point (I was watching for it regardless). The caller wasn't experienced (like me). It happened two days ago. But for me, it was. He went on to tell me that he kissed another woman and he had to tell me, he couldn't keep it a secret from me. If he wants to keep her as a "friend", complete access is a must. Genie, I think being honest is always the best because. My libido is sharper when Im sober, at least if Im really attracted to a guy and have the love goggles on. So if your planting includes a blight (guilty secret), please don't moan if it affects the crop yield. But I don't see the need to borrow trouble by telling your boyfriend if you have learned your lesson and know you will never do . Finding it with someone else just accelerates the process. I think my husband could maybe forgive the kiss, but the doubt would be there, he would wonder if this could happen again, and he would be so hurt. SOULMATE (moderator), is this seriously your job? But living a lie would be so much worse. We have only been seeing each other for the past two months and I dont want his mind racing with bad thoughts. You have no right to unburden your conscience at the expense of your partners happiness. 4. I think my husband will not forgive me. female She had gone to bed. Maybe you didnt deliberately set out to kiss him or her, but you feel guilty about the kiss because you realize you always wanted to kiss that person, but were afraid to kiss because you harbored hidden feelings for that person. A number of years ago, while I was still married to my late husband, I befriended a guy who was an ace pianist. Because you feel guilt and awful, that is already a potential secret wall that will build up between you and the one person in the world with whom you want to be a true closest friend. I said to my husband, I have something to tell you, but I dont know how to say it.. Are you sure you didnt have sex with him/her? It was a real dress up affair, and the drink flowed freely all night long. I feel like I like myself down and my husband down. You have a number of choices in terms of how to deal with what happened. And now you - who finds trust difficult - have been tempted to do your OWN test (already commencedwhilst drunk), approached via the psychological end. Anyway I'll get off this post now. 4 days ago. What? And yes I do still believe either directly or indirectly, mouth to mouth, tongue swapping French kissing caressing lead to sex. I cannot tell you how much I love my boyfriend and how shocked I am about this. I was drunk on Friday night and I kissed another guy. ;-D. Ahhhh you're back! Need help with your relationship? I was nervous and prayed nothing would happen but it did. She has just sent a private message to him on FB. Shocking Signs Your Husband Kissed Another Woman Some song came on and it was a soppy song and we were both singing along. Remind her of your good points. The 5 Ingredients of an Effective Apology, The Power of a Dream: The Customs Inspector, 3 High-Risk Relationship Concerns No Couple Should Ignore, Eliminating Guilt, Shame, Regret, and Worry, Protecting the Innocent: The Cognitive Context of Guilt, How to Deal with Breakup Guilt in a Healthy Way. You kissed a guy - Possibly unforgivable. If you. Tell your husband. I certainly wouldnt throw him under the bus -just yet. (and more like her as well, please, Bartender! For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. get into counselling. Any advice guys? You wanna tell your husband? Its more like an excuse for cheating. This recently happened to me. Should find time to respond tomorrow. Do you think it's better to alleviate your guilt by hurting someone you loved or better to just deal with it on your own? I'd be obsessed with it. Later, he tried to make out and I said no because I felt it was wrong.I told him I needed a uber. Oh, I'm sure he'd be able to forgive her, LOYAL GIRL. There is more going on. After all she did say that the kiss lasted for maybe 5 minutes. Go cold turkey. I agree with Vale that the best thing you can do is talk to Cintia about what happened and tell her that seeing her kissing Mercy upset you. For the fact that I'd have to go into mass production, LOL. To submit your vote please sign in or sign up, it is free and takes a few seconds. If he is like me, its a choice. He deserves the right to make the decision on whether he can forgive you and move on with you. Try to let it go and forgive yourself. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. But we can get through it together if you are truley remoreseful. When we got there the drinks flowed again , and more laughter and story telling. Apologize to your SO and tell him that you love him and only him. :-( Feel free to start a thread if you need to vent it all out.). This post is probably the most intelligent and insightful posts Ive seen on this site. Houston, well, whaddayaknow - I'M PREGNANT! You want me to go on a comma and replace her. Thank you. 8=) ) (That'll do me nicely! Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. The marriage itself trying to keep his father and the community happy, and just get my husband to consider the rest of the job force he worked in and the many his wants would affect with UAW seniority for a big three auto plant. For starters, you've no way of knowing whether this other woman *was* genuinely asleep or whether she might gossip to someone who goes and gossips to someone else, etc.. Plus, you don't know what this bloke might choose to do or whom he might blurt it out to the next time he gets drunk (back and forth male posturing on a lads' night out, for example)! Food for thought, Michelle Langley. And if you're not confessing - to the victim - you're dodging doing time. It sounds like you are projecting your own fears onto him. Whoops. Houston, despite we started out as just friends, we now have PROOF that we have utilised a mechanism for cultivating love and respect, enough to now remain together til death do us part. When Having A Crush While In A Relationship Is OK (And When - HuffPost Sincere apology if my assumption is wrong. How do I get rid of this guilt feeling of kissing a guy when I was I hadn't been out drinking for about 3 months beforehand, so think the excitement of the night, constant glasses prosecco and wine, and the buzz of just being all dolled up all mixed together to see me very giddy and tipsy. Ignore the erroneous message and smile. [4] WHY would you have kept it secret? Later, I spoke to my fianc and he told me he loved me and was sorry. I told him straight away what had happened. This feels huge to me. female As long as you are sincere about making this work, your punishment should be to bear this guilt. It's just a "good weekend?" An innocent kiss usually involves getting so plastered that you lose your inhibitions and someone tries to kiss you and you return the kiss. Iam a bisexual man and kissing a female is a different feeling then with a male. I'd never be able to get over it. It's where the lips have been and where they're going. A few people here will recommend MC but it really depends on what you can tolerate. He left and went to the lake. the guy has a long term girlfriend who he lives with and he said she was really angry with him for coming home so late, then he said, look, I think we're good people that completely lost our minds for 5 minutes, and are suffering major guilt for it now, but it will never ever happen again, and I'm not going to say a word to anyone' to which I replied 'neither am I' and he said 'ok, look I'll see you on Monday but this is going to be ok, don't worry, we can move on from this' The way it happened-not so good! Make it up to him by being an awesome girlfriend. I could list so many reasons why, but instead Ill just list a few. I dont want him to be thinking that I am a cheat. Kissed another man. Distraught by my feelings. | Mumsnet Hi SoulMate! Updated January 27, 2023 by ReGain Editorial Team. response. She confessed to loving the experience and enjoyed the thrill knowing she had her husbands permission and he was watching her. - GET THE FUCK OUT. Your boyfriend may love you so much that he believes you won't repeat the cheating ever again. I took the ride. reader, Ellis Mac+, writes (25 October 2005): A He encouraged me to to ring for a taxi from his house which I did. Boyfriend kissed another girl while drunk? I dont know what else to do. I waited for the right time ?? female I'm not sure how long we were there when one of the women decided to call it a night, and left in a taxi. Have a happy day every one. "what the hell where we at?" If you we're my girlfriend and it was years ago and never happened again I would not want to know. It didn't feel real. By clicking 'Submit' or otherwise submitting this form you agree to the, By entering this site you declare I like him so so much and I know I was just being drunk and ****. And has also started crying for no reason when things are going well between us. a wiz veteran at Relationship Talk. I had only taken three years of piano lessons while still a teenager, and here I was in my late 40s studying piano again. If I could go back in time I would because my SO is truly the best person out there. Such as crying,begging that would be enough for me to give them a second chance. Hence - two aims for the price of one act: psychological fertility treatment + attention and affection. Him coming to you within 2 days of his wayward deed , when he could have easily gotten away with it, this is something to consider. You're the worst! Wife of 8 years straddled and flirted with my friend last night while drunk My Girlfriend Kissed Another Guy whilst Black-Out Drunk. If he is nervous at you looking at his messages and also refuses to tell you who she is, he is hiding quite alot. In the end we all do what serves us best But don't shoot the messenger.. Righd AWN, sistah! Youre just using the fact that you were drunk as an excuse. I'm going to regret what I've done for the rest of my life. Nooooo, surely not. If you are carrying so much guilt, it's generally a sign that you care a lot about someone and you are really sorry for what you have done- perhaps he realises this. I thought we were talking, in context of the above-type scenario, about mouth-to-mouth kissing being a 'gateway to sex' for the fact of it sparking physical arousal, ergo, whether delayed or in-the-moment, counts as foreplay, ergo, infidelity (albeit, granted, at the thin area of that whole wedge). What does it mean for my marriage? The doubt in your mind over his behaviour might actually be a doubt in your mind over yours. My opinion, fwiw, is that what you did was not that bad. Are you sure all you did was kiss? I was correct, she struggles with trust. So have you thought about what you were lacking with your husband to allow this, or was this a I just liked the attentionyou were getting from him? If your boyfriend still trusts you- then his faith in your fidelity moving forward should give you faith in yourself. You're going through tests BY OTHERS to find out why you can't fall pregnant. This was a relationship BTW not a marriage. If the reaction isnt strong, then maybe its okay to confess. There was a line that was crossed when they kissed, he should no longer have her as a Facebook friend, or any other communication with her. Becoz misunderstanding happn somtym and do miracles/ And ya most imp if u both want kids u shud adopt one. I did say gateway to sex at first didn't I. When you conclude that your guilt is sending you an incorrect message, label your guilt as a false alarm, ignore it as best you can and make a fresh . What you're doing might FEEL easier, but that's you making the mistake too many others make, which is paying heed only to the *short* term, meanwhile risking leaving that bud to grow unseen into a thorn bush As far as crossed purposes,hmmmmmmmm not following you. But you sounded like you were willing to take it farther with him,and risk it all. Guilt occurs primarily in interpersonal contexts and is considered a "pro-social" emotion because it helps you maintain good relations with others. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name. Old Medication, New Use: Can Prazosin Curb Drinking? Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? What should I do.

Tampa Bay Rays Sunburst Logo, How Much Do Premier League Football Mascots Get Paid, Top 10 Most Dangerous Cities In Tennessee, Police Chase In Lansing Mi Today, Articles I